Boys don't cry
by micahskitty
Summary: Angst. Rape. Suicide. Drama. Loss. Coping. Tears. Romance. Haru&Tohru. 'Nuff said.
1. Chapter 1

The night air was brisk, chilling the lungs of those who dared to breathe in too much of the frosty winds that billowed throughout the trees. An ominous feeling was suggested as the pathway normally walked with a companion was travelled by a lone figure. The stars that twinkled merrily down on the earth were shrouded, hidden behind clouds that threatened to bring the downfall of rain and something worse. Even the moon chose cover, hidden behind trees and clouds alike.

_Maybe I should have asked Yuki to meet me at work, _thought Tohru Honda as she moved swiftly through the shadows covering the passageway back to the Sohma household that had become her own home over these past months. _Oh, Shigure warned me of perverts. What will happen if I come across one? _The tiny girl was debating running as she clenched her brown bag closer to her, steady eyes scanning the area around her.

Winter was coming to a start in her little town, and each breath she exhaled was visible in the night's air. As perusual at this time of year she was bundled in a coat (A gift by Shigure), but she still wore one of her usual skirts. It was hidden under the length of her coat, and did little to offer warmth to her slender legs that were bared to the winter's torment. The optimistic beauty was oblivious to the eyes that praised her gentle curves from the shadows cascaded down from above.

A slow, sensous smirk crept onto his face as he watched her move onwards to her home. His hands hung loosely, occasionally clenching and unclenching as he awaited the perfect moment to make his move. A predator stalking his prey, he moved with the grace of liquid yet remained hidden from her view as not to cause alarm. There would be time for that; just not _now_.

For a brunette, Tohru suffered the occasional cliched' 'blonde moment'. Often she'd trip, run into inanimate objects that hadn't moved, forgot things that weren't of high importance but were told only moments before. This moment soon to be seen could be classified as a blonde moment, a mistake that Tohru regret as the years passed and she was forced to live with the memories of this night.

Within seconds he was upon her, finding this the oppurtune moment to strike. Within the distance, the household she was headed towards was visible and if one looked closely they could find a figure heading from that direction. Of course Tohru's attacker was not focused on possible witnesses' but the captive before him. Pinned under his body weight, the smaller of the two squrimed and struggled to escape the hold he held on her. With a single hand he held her wrists above her head, forcefully shoving them into the ground as words of protests came from her slender throat, shouting for mercy. Her pleas fell on deaf ears and soon silenced as his mouth swooped low to capture her own.

She bit down hard on his bottom lip, trying to dissuade him from the task at hand as her legs struggled to get him off all to no avail. Every last button on her coat popped off as one hand tore at the clothing, ripping it from her slender body and exposing her underdressed self to the weather. Having wore a skirt the male withdrew a knife from a sheath at his ankle and cut the sides of the fabric with ease, tearing the cloth away from her tiny hips. Attempting screams once more his hand met her cheek, an angry red mark appearing soon after that caused tears to well in her eyes.

The rest passed in a blur. There was the sound of fabric rustling, grunts of contentment, the pain of the first time and many, many tears shed at the loss of innocence taken within seconds from an unforgiving male. Flesh smacking flesh sounded throughout the tiny area, and once he was satisfied with the damage inflicted on her fragile physical state he withdrew and clothed himself once more. It took only a few moments and he was gone, disappeared into the shadows from whence he came- leaving behind the body of a broken girl who resolved a new will that night.

The person who was leaving the Sohma house at the time was no witness to the events, having been blind in the darkness of the night. However he saw a retreating figure which immediately striked his interest. His gait sped up and the sounds of sobbing reached his pearl colored ears. He knew the source of the sound was her- Tohru Honda but he had no clue as to the reasoning why. When he reached her side he knew. The sobs, the attempts to cover herself, the torn bits of her skirt lying next to her and the many buttons scattered throughout the area.

"Tohru," He said hoarsely, finding words were hard to summon as he studied the girl in the state she was in.

Hesitantly he extended a hand towards her, to help her gather what dignity she could muster but his help was rejected with a sharp smack to his hand. Crawling backwards, she watched him with fury in her gaze. The fire within burning for those of his species and a touch from one of them would surely kill her.

The teenager stood there for a moment, quiet and unsure of how to persue her. Obviously she didn't want contact with him, which was understandable. The poor girl had just been raped and left in the middle of the road! Still, he couldn't let her just walk home in this state, he had to do something- anything to help her regain the courage to stand strong. Heaving a sigh, he moved closer still and extended a hand yet again. She didn't smack it away this time, simply eyed it with disdain and unease. Yet she the voice nagging her urged her to take the offered help, afterall it was Hatsuharu who was giving help and should she reject it for too long he might become angered enough to turn to his black side.

The usually impassive and stoic boy could feel a tear trickle down his cheek at the sight before him, and was shocked when Tohru accepted his hand- tenatively at first, with eyes that were wide and watched for any signs of him doing something other than helping. Her touch remained gentle, even after what she had suffered. Softly, his own calloused hand wrapped around hers as his thumb moved in slow, circular motion expecting her to pull away at any time.

Within seconds he had her standing on shaky legs that threatened to give out with the first step, like the legs of a newborn calf. Assesing the damage he briefly released her hand and removed the sweater he wore, smoothly slipping it over her head. Haru was small, but he was tall as compared to Tohru's short height. The sweater covered a majority of her and that was the best he could manage at the time.

His hand found hers once more, and with ease and care they were moving towards the house. It would have been much easier to carry her but because of the curse upon him, such was impossible. At the rate they were moving, they'd be there as dawn moved across the sky. An idea struck, and without giving much though to the events he turned swiftly and tugged Tohru into his warm embrace. For a few seconds she cherished the warmth and comfort there, though regretably had to give it up as now an ox stood before her.

The black jeans he had on before was discarded, and assuming he'd not need them for the night she slipped them over her pale legs carefully.

"Climb on," Haru ordered softly, "And keep a hold on my neck so I don't change back."

After a few rough tries she was able to mount him, her arms coming around the ox's neck and clinging tightly as he began moving rapidly for the safe shelter provided in the house.

As usual, Kyo was lounging on the roof, staring at the night sky. He was too far to have heard the cries of the girl, and mesmerized by the clouds above. Not to mention, darkness cloaked the area, so even if he was looking for some sort of sign of Tohru's distress, he would have missed it. He could have done nothing to prevent it. Yet when he heard Haru's approach and took in the sight of the battered girl atop the black-and-white ox, he blamed himself. Thinking there was something he could have done to prevent, anything. Why had he let this happen? He always, _always_ caused pain to those he which to protect and this was no diffrent. Without thought he hopped off the roof, not caring for the pain that shot through his ankle for his reckless action.

"What happened?" The boy with orange hair questioned softly as it appeared Tohru had fallen asleep due to exhaustion still clinging to the ox.

Haru gave a snort through his spotted nose, tossing that huge head once to the side to stare at the ground as he quietly explained the situation to Kyo. As expected, Kyo reacted with anger and was ready to head for the forests to attack whoever was near by and caused Tohru, the girl he loved, such pain. _Who the fuck did this? What was he thinking attacking an innocent girl like Tohru? Why didn't she fight him off? Then again it's Tohru we're talking about here... She probably didn't notice the guy until he was on top of her. Why didn't I just skip practice at the dojo and pick her up? And where the hell is Yuki? He usually picks her up! Why didn't he get her, tonight of all nights? _

"She needs to be taken in. She'll catch cold out here," Haru's voice called Kyo back to earth, tearing him from his inner monologue and back to the world that only brought him pain.

A nod was given in acknowledgment as Kyo carefully took Tohru off Haru's back. Her neck rested on one arm, legs dangling over the other in bridal style-- he held her away from his body as not to hug her and transform. With ease he carried the trying to avoid banging her limbs against a wall or corner as he carried her up the stairs and to her bedroom where he layed her on top of her neatly made bed. As he took in the bruises forming, the cuts about her lip, and the way her eyes kept flickering under her eyelids (suggesting she was having a nightmare), Kyo couldn't help but growl in frustration even as tears of sadness crept down his sun-kissed cheek. Head bowed, and breathing ragged he didn't hear Haru's approach.

"Yo," Haru announced, "I need clothes." During the time Kyo spent carrying Tohru, Haru had transformed back into his human form and was wearing his birthday suit. Giving a shrug, Kyo rose to an erect stance and moved towards the door to grab clothes from his room.

"Watch her for me?" Kyo requested over his shoulder, to which Haru was all too quick to oblige.

The boy with the hair the color of snow and roots the color of coal knelt silently at the bedside of Tohru, a gentle hand coming to her cheek to caress the soft flesh found there. "I'll kill him," He murmured blandly, speaking of her assualter. "I'll torture him for hours and then kill him." Amazing. He spoke of murdering someone, yet he spoke quietly- calmly as if Destiny had made him do it. Perhaps such was the case.

Of course, Haru was making silent promises to the sleeping girl and expected no reply, when he got one he jumped a few inches into the air from shock. "Do you promise?" Tohru peeked over at him, voice soft and low. During the stuggle hands had wrapped around her delicate throat, threatening to cut off her air supply if she didn't supress her screams. The bruises and indents of nails were beginning to appear of the creamy colored skin.

"I promise," Haru replied casually, stoking the hair away from her face. The left side of it was starting to swell, still revealing the angry red hand mark.

Tohru allowed the gentle petting, muttering something to herself as Haru continued to comfort her- absently as his mind was elsewhere. The black part of his brain was contemplating the methods of torture, while an even deeper concealed part of his brain was summoning up ways for Tohru to thank him, and each way involved lewd actions and a bed. _Damn hormones._ He silently cursed, but was drawn from his thoughts as he noticed Tohru's _entire_ face was a bright red.

"What's wrong?" His head tilted to the side quizzically.

Tohru mumbled something into her pillow, refusing to meet his gaze or even look towards him. "...No clothes..." Was all Haru heard and started laughing soon after as he realized the chaste girl's cause of unease. Thus caused her to redden even more, leading to more bursts of laughter from the ox until she could take more and simply stuck her tongue out at him.

"Very mature," He mocked in that impassive voice of his, a smile set on his lips as he watched her. Bruised, beaten and probably at her worst she was still radiating beauty. How did she do it? Where did she find the courage to give him that small smile that was currently on her own lips? Haru could only shake his head in amusement, still waiting on Kyo's clothes for him.

The moment became serious as Tohru whimpered in pain, slightly gasping. Somewhere in the mist of their conversation she started to laugh which only made her wounds throb. A tear slid from her eyes, that single droplet of salty water tore Haru's heart and soul. Swiftly, without thought, a kiss was pressed to the tear, leaving his lips moist from the contact.

A slow, seductive smile slid over his lips as he licked the tear from him, "Don't cry, Tohru. I've got you now, alright?"

Vulnerable, in pain and wanting nothing more than to be comforted, Tohru nodded and tried her damndest to prevent the tears that threatened to pour forth. Haru was putting his emotions on display, an act he rarely did for anyone. Rarely Yuki recieved the treatment, and Rin was only subject to it when they were dating. Now that they weren't, the moments he cared to reveal his true self were few and few. Tohru, however, sparked something within him. She was undeniably strong willed in her own way, and the optimism and cheer she brought others was like a breath of spring after a long winter's night. Haru, for the first time, could understand why Kyo had fallen for her. Why Yuki was infatuated with her. Why Momiji clung to her, leaning on her support. He know saw what Kisa saw when she looked. He saw what Shigure adored in her, what Hatori found becoming.

He saw Tohru Honda... And saw himself in love.

**A/N: Overall, this chapter was slow. It's just a prologue to start the story, and get people used to the Haru/Tohru pairing that this fic will be. I _intend _for this one to be pretty long, including the hunt for Toh's rapist, the shock when they realize who it is. I plan to include an over-eccentric Yuki stalker, a depressed Kagura, a jealous and rampaging Rin, Shigure leaving for some unknown amount of time, and of course, the usual drama that comes with falling in love including the ups and downs. Please bear with me... And I PROMISE to get my other stories updated within this week. Honest.**

**MICAHSKITTY**


	2. Worth it?

As the sun willed it to the darkness faded away and left behind no traces of it's coming aside from a bruised and battered but not yet broken female who lay atop covers with a tortured expression on her face. Even in her mind where the subconcious ruled she was unable to escape from the horrors she suffered hours before. Pitiful whimpers fell from her lips, her slender legs kicked at nothing though it was apparent to the boy who watched her that she was struggling and he knew what it was.

Kyo Sohma extended a hand to her forehead, gently removing the perspiration found there from the nightmare. His hand then trailed down her face, as soft as a feathers' caress before it landed on her shoulder which he gave a harsh shake to arouse her from her current state.

The brunette lurched foward, the movement causing her to wince from the re-opening of a wound or two. Her eyes widened and she turned quickly to see Kyo peering worriedly up at her. As tears began to pool in her chocolate eyes she backed away from Kyo to the edge of the opposite side of the bed, retreating into herself with her back pressed against the wall. The flaming hair cat of the zodiac could only watch as the girl mentally barred herself from Kyo, her face collapsing within itself and revealing no emotions or depth that her eyes once percieved.

Haru, who was in the kitchen, heard the rustling of sheets and the soft moan of pain that fell from Kyo's lips as he realized the distance that was now between the two. Dropping the book he was reading (Shigure's latest) he climbed the stairs two at a time and made his entrance into the clattered room. Brushing aside Kyo, Haru climbed into Tohru's bed. The weight of his body leaving indents in the pink blankets and sheets as he moved towards her with his hand extended to show he meant no harm.

Tohru waited in silence but didn't move from her position, alebit too sore to fight against Haru nor did she have the will to. In her eyes, he was her savior and the only remaining light in a world that was loomed on the abyss of darkness. Taking in the lack of reluctance on her behalf, the ox moved closer, his hands gently grasping her shoulders while he grimaced at her.

"Tohru?" The mention of her name made her eyes widen, but she relaxed under his gaze and even offered a slow, timid smile. "That's my girl." 

Kyo lounged back in his chair as he watched Haru take control of the situation. Suffice to say the casual voyuer wasn't all too pleased with the situation before him. Sure, he was glad that Haru had found someone to put that true smile on his face. And sure, he was happy that Tohru was slowly begginning to trust someone; even if it wasn't him. What bothered the laid-back cat was his thoughts. They were so black, filled with the urge to wreak despair and havoc. Whoever took _his_ Tohru away and caused her to be in this state would pay, and he'd render punishment. In this, Kyo Sohma was God.

"Haru?" Her voice remained scratchy, hoarse, evidence the incident happened and was not part of her recent nightmares.

The teenager's head cocked to the side, "Nn?"

"What should I cook for breakfast?"

Instantly, Haru's eyes narrowed on her. Seconds passed as he could only stare and evaluate if she was serious. Seeing that determined look on her face, the thin line her lips made when in thought (most likely contemplating what to fix for the household), he began to laugh. A short, joyful laugh.

Tohru didn't understand why he laughed so, though she didn't mind hearing it. The girl's thoughtful expression replaced with quizzical amusement, she gently poked him in his side. "Why does Haru laugh so? I'm serious!" The flush that came to her face from frustration caused Haru to laugh a little bit harder while gently patting her head.

"Ah, Tohru..Tohru, Tohru, Tohru." Chanted Haru between laughs and occasional snickers. Staring in confusion and hidden wonderment, Tohru awaited an explanation. "Didn't you hear? Kyo said he was cooking today!"

This caused Kyo's thoughts to come crashing down on him. "I said no-- Oh, that's right..." Nodding and rising to his feet, "That's right. I'll cook for you Tohru. You just get better."

Tohru, recalling the time Kyo fixed medly soup for _her_ wasn't too upset at the thought, but still questioned him. "Are you sure? I'd hate to be a burden..." Clasping her hands together and staring transfixed at her fingers, she couldn't help but feel she was a burden to the two boys.

"Tohru," Kyo's own voice was harsh with the rising anger. "You're not a burden. Ever. Just rest up." Before Tohru could issue a response Kyo stomped out of the room, abruptly bristled at the conversation. The actions of the flame-haired teenagers caused tears to well in Tohru's eyes. She could sense he was upset and assumed it was at her.

"He's not mad at you." Haru began, correctly guessing what was on her mind.

"He is mad though." The brunette protested.

Haru shook his head, staring absently out the window as his fingers massaged her hands. "But not at you. He's mad at himself. He's mad that he wasn't there-- He's blaming himself essentialy."

Tohru shook her head rapidly, "But it wasn't his fault!"

Empathetically, Haru shook his head as well before meeting the girl's gaze. "He knows that. He just can't accept it at the moment. He'll find solace later. There's always peace in revenge."

Blanching at the topic of revenge, Tohru opted to change the subject. "Where's Shigure?"

Haru could only blink... Where was that dog anyhow? Raising his shoulders and letting them drop, necklaces clattering in the wake. "I don't have the slightest. He wasn't here last night nor this morning." A frown came to Tohru. "Why? What's wrong?"

"He's playing with his editor again, isn't he?"

Chuckling to himself, Haru nodded. "That's probably what he's doing. He likes doing that. I think he likes her."

"B-but he's so mean to her."

"It's how he shows his affection. Some people can't do it in a normal sense. Those in the zodiac seem to be challenged in that department." While his thoughts flitted to Rin a frown captured his lips, causing him to cast his gaze elsewhere.

"What's wrong?"

The simple question brought Haru back to the moment, "Hmm?"

"You're frowning. Are you alright?" Worry immediately took ahold of her features as chocolate brown eyes searched his own stoic gaze for a sign of what put him in such a state.

"Nothing. Tohru, you worry about the wrong things. We should be more concerned about you and not my past."

Understanding dawned on her and she slowly relaxed against the pillows. "Where's Hatori? He usually comes around to check on me when I do stupid stunts-- which is quite often!"

Following Tohru, Haru leaned back against her pillows, now laying next to her. "We called him. Last night. He said he'd be over today but he hasn't shown up or called back."

At this, both teens fell silent and contemplated why the Sohma doctor had yet to respond to their calls. Assuming it had anything to do with Akito, both shrugged mentally.

"Tohru?"

Resting comfortably against her pillows and enjoying the warmth and comfort provided by the male next to her, Tohru quirked a brow and murmured out a, "Yes?"

"Do you ever get tired? Of carrying everything on your shoulders?"

Silence ensued afterwards as both reflected on the question. "Sometimes... It feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulders." Pausing, Tohru bit her lip and continued. "I get anxious. I feel like I'll be crushed. But then I realize, compared to others, I don't have it so bad. That makes me want to help others reach a level of happiness, make them better."

Haru's hand found Tohru's, their fingers lacing together. Tohru gave his hand a slight squeeze-- clinging to the only thing that seemed solid and real in her world. "Y'know... When things get like that, when the world weighs too heavily on you... I'll carry it for you."

Tears sprang in Tohru's eyes as she listened to the bland syllabals falling from his lips with ease. Despite everything, even under these circumstances when her trust was nearly shattered, she couldn't help but believe Hatsuharu's words. "Thank you."

Nodding, they said nothing more as both drifted back into a rather peaceful sleep.

**CatRatOxHorseRoosterLambTigerSnakeDogDragonBoarMonkeyRabbitONIGIRI!**

A toss of his head sent the obsidian tresses flying wayward. Beneath him, the pale and frail body writhed in pain. Condensation perspired on the foreheads of them both. Slave and Master. Dragon and God. One was dying. The other was attempting to save.

"It hurts..." Akito said as his breath became ragged, face contorting to display the pain he felt within.

"I know," Hatori began, even as tears came to his eyes. He knew there was no point in trying. This was the end. This was it. The final banquet. There'd be no more. "Hang on, Akito. C'mon. Stay with me."

Akito's eyes fluttered open for a brief second and he locked his gaze with Hatori. Anger burned in those depths, a hatred so deep and unbearable it caused Hatori to flinch. "Damn you all." The edges of Akito's world began to blur, become fuzzy. "Why didn't they all come to my banquet? Do they not love god anymore?"

Hatori could feel his heart breaking as he stared at the pitiful frame before him. Swallowing hard and gripping Akito's right hand, Hatori bowed his head- forehead resting against forehead as the smell of sweat filled the room. Harsh breathes coming and falling from them both in unison.

It was almost over. He was almost free. Yet why did he feel this way? He clung to a dying man. One who had ruined his life. His eye. His heart. His soul. Yet the pain was unbearable. He wanted to cry. To scream. To throw something-- anything at the walls.

"I love you. I love you all. Tell them for me, will you Hatori? I see Dad now. Tell Ren I win, will you Hatori? Tell her I have Akira."

Another harsh inhale of breath that wasn't expelled. The fingers of the supposed god lost their grip. The eyes, once full of emotion be it livid anger or wicked amusement from sadisim were now glossed over. There was no shine, no spark, no life. As Hatori removed his hand from the dead male, sobs wracked his body.

Miles away the different members of the zodiac were inflicted with the same feeling of heartbreak, though few understood the cause. The members had finally won their long-sought freedom, yet it felt their hearts were being ripped apart in return. Was it worth it? Was anything?


End file.
